If you want to be happy, you have a lot to learn and work on yourself every day. You have to try to find the answers to the questions who you are and what you want. You have to find out what happiness is and how happiness can be accomplished.
Here are some simple rules you should remember and keep trying to apply every day, as this is the basis from where you start to build better and more meaningful life – the life you can enjoy.
“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”
“Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
(Francis of Assisi)
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
(Norman Vincent Peale)
1. CONCENTRATE ON THE POSITIVE THINGS AROUND YOU
Problem: We always believe that we have no control over how we feel. Like the weather, sometimes it’s sunny, sometimes cloudy, sometimes we feel well and sometimes bad.
Yes, we feel good sometimes and bad on other days. But that does not come from somewhere and is not imposed on us from the outside.
How we feel depends very much on what we focus our attention on and what our thoughts are.
What are you paying attention to? The problem or solution? Your weaknesses or strengths? Your successes or your failures? The negative or the positive?
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.
_ Indian wisdom
Lesson: If you pay attention to the good and the positive, not only will you feel better, but you will also become more optimistic and confident over time. Then every day you can find countless reasons to be happy.
2. LIVE IN THE MOMENT
Problem: Our thoughts tend to be constantly in the past or future, avoiding the present moment. And by doing so, we miss all the beautiful things around us.
We do not hear what's going on, do not really listen to what others say and do not enjoy what we have right now.
In this way we miss everything that makes life worth living.
Once some students came to an old Zen master.
"Master," one of them asked, "what are you doing to be happy and satisfied? I would like to be as happy as you. "
The old man answered with a mild smile: "If I sleep, then I sleep. When I get up, I get up. When I go, I go, and when I eat, I eat. "
The students looked around perplexed. One burst out: "Please, do not mock us. What you say, we do too. We sleep, eat and go. But we are not happy. So what's your secret? "
The same answer came: "If I sleep, then I sleep. When I get up, I get up. When I go, I go, and when I eat, I eat. "
After considering the uneasiness and displeasure of the students, Master added after a while, "Surely you too sleep and you eat. But while you're lying down, you're already thinking of getting up. As you get up, you think about where you are going and as you go, you wonder what you are going to eat. So your thoughts are always elsewhere and not where you are right now.
The real life takes place in the intersection between past and future. Get fully involved in this immeasurable moment and you have the chance to be truly happy and content. "
_ Buddhist parable
Lesson: Life takes place in the present moment. In the here and now. You do not need much to be happy. You just have to pay attention and enjoy it consciously. Whatever you do, give your full attention to it and do it properly.
3. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Problem: We are taught to sacrifice ourselves for others and constantly put our needs behind. He who thinks of himself is called an egoist. The main thing is that should be there for others, whether they are your boss, your family, your friends or colleagues.
But those who do not pay attention to themselves will sooner or later burn out.
Each of us is like a container full of water. The water in this example stands for our life energy. Most people go through life and give a lot of people some of their water.
They pour water everywhere and wonder why they have little of life energy left.
They sooner or later find themselves in a position when they can no longer simply “distribute” their valuable water everywhere, as they will have no more left for themselves.
That’s why you should opt for a healthy selfishness. This means you do everything you can to fill your container with as much water as possible but “distribute” reasonably without leaving it empty.
Lesson: When you take care of yourself, fulfill your needs and your desires first, you will naturally reach the point of wanting to help other people and giving some of your happiness to others. But first of all you must start from yourself. Self-love and self-compassion are the key.
4. OVERCOME YOUR FEARS
Problem: We all have fears. Some are real(istic) and justified, some not. Some people are afraid of spiders, others of presentations, of height, narrowness or other people. And then we are afraid of the new and the unknown and of what the future holds.
The only problem is, if we do not do anything about our fears, they restrict us more and more until we cannot really function properly in everyday life.
Even with smaller and harmless fears, so much happiness is lost. Anyone who is afraid of dogs soon starts avoiding all forests and parks, and anyone who is afraid of humans will not leave the house at some point.
Story of bouncy balls
Once upon a time there was a group of bouncy balls who lived on a table and rolled happily about. At some point they discovered that the table was limited and lurked on all sides of a dangerous abyss.
Some withdrew in fear. A few of them were so scared that they stayed cramped in the middle of the table. As a result, their freedom of movement and their zest for life were of course limited.
But those bouncy balls who were not intimidated by the abyss eventually rolled over the edge. And what happened?
They landed on the ground and bounced up and down, discovering another way to get around.
And they found that beyond fear there was an infinite world waiting for them.
(Manuela Böhme & Jutta Christoph)
Lesson: Fear paralyzes us. It restricts and robs us of zest for life. Overcoming them opens up new perspectives and enriches your life immensely. In particular, if you want to change your life and realize your dreams, you have to face your fears.