There are people who undoubtedly always leave a positive impression. But what makes them so attractive? Here are ten tips that will help you achieve the same.
The first moments are crucial: even before the first word is spoken, it is often clear whether or not the chemistry between two persons is right. Those who know the decisive factors for sympathy, they know in a short time how to make themselves likable.
There are people who seem to possess something natural in terms of sympathy. But not everyone succeeds equally well. For some time, psychologists and sociologists have been searching for the formula for sympathy: what counts at first?
Beware: Likeable does not mean pretty. Even people who are not blessed by nature with model dimensions and a well-proportioned face features, have chances to trigger a “wow effect”. Experts advise:
1. The “chic” tip
Although the research proves that beautiful people have certain benefits, what counts in the first few seconds is also the clothing style, how well-groomed one is and how one smells. Dress codes, while considered by some to be old-fashioned or patronizing, are, according to certain research meaningful in that they help dress appropriately. Groups identify themselves and differentiate themselves from other groups. "For example, matching one's clothes to the occasion and the other person in a job interview creates a visual similarity, intimacy and sympathy, and the same appearance mean less threat and evolutionary significance in" friend-foe detection.”
2. Choose the scent correctly
Not only does bad sweat odor kill the sympathy factor, but also too much fragrance. On the other hand, a light, almost divine fragrance could trigger sympathy. "Many perfumes, for example, use vanilla, which creates feelings of happiness, is perceived as positive and familiar, and sometimes creates chains of association that last into childhood. The opposite happens in many cases when unpleasant odors such as nicotine odor are perceived.
3. Use proper body language
A smile, an open-minded attitude and a short eye contact are door openers which are perceived as friendly. Crossed arms or a lowered look, however, are perceived as repellent. Take care to keep your body as straight and confident as possible. This is unconsciously associated with happy people and leaves a positive impression even before the beginning of any conversation.
4. The perfect handshake
Yes, there is it, the ideal handshake. It should be medium-hard, encompassing the other's hand and done with well-groomed hands. Limp hands, a greeting with a wet hand, pressing too long or too hard when greeting is perceived as negative and generates aggressiveness.
5. Use body contact correctly
American researchers found that service personnel were tipped higher if they had previously unobtrusively touched the payers. Another American study found that observers attributed a higher social status to people who touched others a lot and even made it easier to get dates when the subjects touched the women on their upper arms for a second or two when they contacted them. In one experiment, they were particularly successful in getting the woman's home phone number. French psychologist Nicolas Guéguen asked men in an experiment to encourage women to dance. If they touched the ladies, 65 percent of the call came after the touching. Only 43 percent said without body contact.
The explanation of the researchers: Touch creates physical closeness and thus trust. Alexandra Miethner, however, advises to be careful with body contact, as this could be misunderstood. While the touch of a handshake is socially adequate and perceived as appropriate, the psychologist warns that some touches may be misunderstood, depending on the cultural context. Not only is area below the waistline an absolute taboo, but also the back.
6. Safe voice, great effect
Have you ever spoken on the phone with a person whose voice has fascinated you? Your voice can do a lot, but many people are unaware of their optimal pitch.
7. Be attentive
Who does not like to hear his name? It is part of one's identity and it feels good when others use it. Likeable people do that. They call their interlocutors by the name when they meet them or when they start conversation with them. Studies show that people feel confirmation when their hear their names called. A similar effect is produced when one follows the conversation attentively remembers and repeats words used by the other person, or inquiries about the contents of a conversation. This also awakens familiarity and thus sympathy.
8. Being a “social chameleon”, i.e. being the one who easily fits in
Scientists from the Universities of Leipzig and Berlin have recently found that adopting the facial expressions and gestures of others - also referred to by the researchers as a "social chameleon" - can be a good strategy for building a positive relationship with others.
9. Connect similarities
Living in the same street, having the same favorite restaurant, having similar interests in arts and hobbies- there are many such things that can connect people. When contacting and promoting sympathy, they become important. People who connect with us are familiar to us. So start looking for similarities and make them known.
10. Be yourself
Knowing the parameters of sympathy, however, is only useful if one pays attention exactly to those behaviors that go with one's personality. Therefore, always be yourself and remain authentic.
“The day she realised, it was not about the world but was all about her, she grew the wings. The day she understood she was not answerable to any of them who always blamed and pointed her, she had the fire blazing in her eyes. She raised and soared towards the sky. The whole world looked at her in awe and wished if only they could be her. She was not confined to be on the ground anymore. She had the wings of fire and she left a trail everywhere she went, for other to follow.”
― Akshau Vasu